


Pain and Peanut Butter

by CoronaCrown



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, Deception, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Lies, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Minor Vernon Boyd/Erica Reyes, POV Alternating, Pining Stiles Stilinski, Pop Culture, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 10:55:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17848139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoronaCrown/pseuds/CoronaCrown
Summary: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.The worst trick Stiles ever pulled was convincing his friends he was allergic to peanut butter. So what if he didn't like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like all the other kids, why did Scott have to get on his goat about that all the time?John is not amused.





	Pain and Peanut Butter

A lot of kids liked to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, John knew. Hell, he knew Scott liked to eat them whenever he came around to hang out when he and Stiles were kids, and even Claudia was fond of those sandwiches before she died.

  
But Stiles absolutely hated peanut butter, and peanuts and general. Cashews, apricots, almonds, and any general nut was absolutely loathed by his kid. Most kids complained about spinach or any other vegetable they had to eat for dinner. For Stiles, he wailed in public when John ordered him a a side of peanut butter with his apple slices. So, ants on a log were reserved to himself and Claudia.

The trend continued to the point where Stiles reached his teenage years, and came out as gay when he was sixteen. Claudia would've seen it coming, because she had a sixth sense about people in general, but John was at first in disbelief about it. Mostly it was because he thought that Stiles didn't act like a gay man, only for him to chastise himself for such a train of thought with the prejudice that was ingrained in his mind by his slightly conservative family. In the end, he came to accept Stiles as he was, and wondered if maybe his son had a crush on his best friend of childhood.

But no. As it turned out, Stiles did not have a crush on his childhood best friend. Of all the people his son decided to fall head over heels for, it was one Derek Hale.

The Hales were pretty popular around Beacon Hills. They owned most of the property in town, and donated plenty of money to all sorts of organizations around the world, from feeding the poor, reducing homelessness, providing homes for abused children, and rescuing animals from cruel and inhumane conditions.

Basically, they were good people. And the only reason Stiles had a crush on Derek, who was six years older than him at 22, was because he was friends with Derek's sister Cora at the high school.

But that was a problem for another time. Right now, John only had one concern: Stiles hated peanuts and any other nuts in existence. A part of his mind said  _not all nuts_  and he promptly grossed himself out.

When Scott turned seventeen, Melissa brought home his son an ice cream cake. But not just any ice cream cake; it was a peanut butter ice cream cake.

Stiles visibly cringed at the sight of it. "Got any vanilla?" he asked.

John nudged him with elbow, saying with a single eyebrow how rude it was to ask for something not provided while they were guests at the house. Stiles eyed him back with a look of his own, mimicking a retching act.

"How can you not like peanut butter? Allison said, as if Stiles had just committed sacrilege. "It's peanut butter! It's delicious and great on everything."

"Chocolate is great on everything," Stiles argued, being handed a slice by Erica on his left and immediately handing it to his father to his right, who in turn passed it on to Liam. "Strawberries are great on everything. Chocolate-covered strawberries are perfect. But peanut butter is a pudding that will take you into an alley, beat you to near death, and steal your wallet."

"Poetic, Stiles," Lydia said, shoveling a forkful into her mouth. "Beautiful."

"I am to please." Stiles bowed dramatically and took a large step back when Erica tried to pass him another slice.

"Even when we were kids, he was like this," Scott said, being the only person in the room with a crown from the cheap party store down the street. "No on just 'hates' peanut butter."

Over and over, it was the same thing. No one seemed to get, that he just didn't like it. He wasn't into blondes, and did he have to justify that? No! Crime dramas were greatly exaggerated in his opinion, but he never stopped Kira from watching the series finale of  _Bones_  and didn't get in the way of Scott and Allison's date night when they binge-watched the first two seasons of  _Criminal Minds_.

Stiles preferred the more fantastical side of things, like the show Supernatural or every post-apocalyptic movie ever. Hell, demonic possessions and ghosts haunting were his cup of tea, but did anyone badger him about that? No!

Well, technically speaking, Lydia did once, but that was because Stiles promised he'd make the chowder that didn't clog a person's nose and actually tasted good. In exchange, Lydia would watch  _Truth of Dare_  when it came out in theaters. In short, Lydia may have gotten her chowder, but she opted out of party games for two months after the movie.

Stiles contemplated telling them the truth again, about how he hated the taste and smell of peanuts in general, but he knew that they would never accept that as an answer because it was simply blasphemy to their ears. Peanuts were to him what the words "moist" or "hi-jinx" were to others: just unnatural in their basic form.

So he instead said, "I'm allergic to peanuts, asshole."

Behind him, he could hear his father hit the palm of his hand with his face. It was only habitual and reflexive at this point.

Oh, boy. That's a lie he'll have to live with himself for the rest of his life now.

* * *

Saying that he was allergic to peanuts was the best and worst thing that Stiles could have possibly been.

Best because a few days later, Derek had actually been the one to engage in conversation this time when he interrogated Stiles.

"What does my sister mean when you told everyone you were allergic to peanuts? You were eating chocolate-dipped strawberries drizzled in peanut butter last Christmas."

Stiles frowned. "You remember that?" 

Derek had the decency to avoid his eyesight for a moment, bringing his arms up to cross them in front of his chest.

"Look, I only said that so they could stop getting on my ass about how I don't like peanut butter. When there's lots of chocolate involved, then sure, I can stomach it. But peanut butter by itself, or as the main ingredient? Blegh! No, thank you! Did you know, this one time when I was a kid—" Stiles provided to tell the same story he told everyone when they found how about his distaste of the savory, the one where ants on a log became a Sheriff-only snack in the house that Stiles didn't have to worry about his father hiding.

This secret became the sort of bridge that brought them closer together as friends, and John noticed. When he confronted his son about it, he was surprised by Stiles' mature answer.

"Now, Stiles," he began, "I've noticed that you seem a little closer to Derek. Don't think that you can go and make any advances on him and expect him to return it in kind, okay?"

"I know, Dad," Stiles said. "And honestly, I'm not expecting anything. It's true I want something to happen, but I've known Derek for as long as I've known Cora, and he'll only think of my as his sister's friend. We're recently starting to become friends ourselves, and I actually think that's enough for me."

John was more proud of him than ever before.

Unfortunately, there were a few unexpected consequences to the lie that Stiles told. Everyone was appalled that he was allergic and they didn't know, why didn't he tell them, Stiles, they almost killed him in several situations,  _was he stupid or something to let something so important pass on by?_

This led to Scott, Lydia, Cora, Allison, Erica, Boyd, and everyone else in their social circle to practically insist every waitress at each restaurant they ate out at, to every baker in a bakery, every barista in coffee shop, and every cashier at checkout to ask if this item did not have peanuts or any nuts at all, are you sure, my friend's life is at stake here.

Was it annoying? Yes. Did Stiles regret it? A little. Was he going to tell them the truth? Hell no.

On the bright side, no one offered him peanuts anymore. In fact, whenever birthdays or holidays or events were held, the people hosting would always make in effort to make something specifically for Stiles that did not contain peanuts. It was actually kind of amazing how many people liked to have peanut-based food at parties, one would think it wouldn't be a regular occurrence.

And so Stiles lived with his lie another year, past his eighteenth birthday and on to graduation. His father took several photos of all the friends together, and then with their family. Stiles was surprised when Cora invited only him to join her family with her photo, including her parents, Laura, and Derek.

"Because you're family too, duh," was her reasoning.

John stood behind his son next to Derek, and later, Stiles would deny that the photo had captured his eyes beginning to tear up.

A graduation party was held at the Hale House that night, with the graduates even getting permission for them to have only one ("Repeat: one," the Sheriff reiterated) alcoholic drink. Stiles didn't drink anything, and Scott giggled at the end of every sentence he said. It was possible he managed to sneak more than one.

A table of food had been laid out, and the deserts featured both a chocolate and cheese fountain. Among the deserts were lovely decorated choco-strawberries drizzled with peanut butter, flakes of sea salt scattered as a finishing touch. The 'berries were wrapped in a packaging that lollipops would be served in, a thin toothpick helping to pick them up.

Stiles' first move was to reach out for them, but then he remembered that he was supposed to be have a massive allergy. The consequences wouldn't be dire, but they would no doubt be substantial. So he did nothing, and by the end of the party, all the strawberries were gone.

His dad managed to save him one, which was given to him as they got in the car at the end of the night. Stiles took the fruit out of the packaging and bit into it heartily, letting the sweet and savory taste of the chocolate counteracting the peanut melt on his tongue.

"I would've gotten you more, but they were going quickly and I didn't have any place to put them."

"God, this is the first time I regret telling them I'm allergic," Stiles said as he finished the strawberry. "Still worth it, though."

John only chuckled as he parked the cruiser, congratulating his son before pulling out and heading to the station to work up the time he missed for the graduation and party.

The next day, John had yet to arrive when a knock made Stiles look up from his re-watching of  _Coraline_. He only started the movie and the opening credits had just begun when Stiles sighed and stood up.

"Oh. Hey, Derek. What's up?"

Derek Hale stood on his porch, wearing his trademark leather jacket and carrying a white box bakery box in his hand, from the one Laura ran in town. "I got these for you."

Stiles frowned, taking the box and looking down at the beautiful name printed on the box. "Moonlight Desserts" was written in a stylish font with a moon above the words, a wolf's head in the moon itself. He opened the box and gaped inside.

A 4x4 row of chocolate strawberries drizzled in peanut butter and sea salt flakes covered the whole box. Though they were neatly arranged, the strawberries themselves looked adequately done, not on par with someone as much baking experience as Laura.

"Dude," Stiles said, speechless.

"I saw you eyeing them yesterday at the party," Derek said. "I know you weren't able to get any, so after the party, I asked my sister if I could buy a box. Then she gave me the keys and I spent most of last night setting these up for you. I'm not a baker like my sister, but the recipe was simple enough, so... These are for you."

Stiles looked up. "You  _made_  these for me?"

Derek coughed and cleared his throat. "Yeah."

"You. Made these. For me."

"Ugh, yes, okay? What's your point?"

Holding the open box securely with one hand, Stiles used the other to hold Derek's face as he stepped forward and raised himself a little to plant a soft and pliant kiss to Derek's lips. Derek dropped his arms and held them securely on Stile' hips, chasing his lips and reverently kissing back. Stiles gasped for breath when Derek slipped his tongue into his mouth as the kiss deepened.

Finally, they backed away, still holding each other and Derek lightly caressing Stiles' cheek with his thumb. Stiles sighed through his nose and moved to feel the whole hand.

"I'm about to watch a movie," Stiles said, surprised he was able to keep his voice even. "And obviously, these are too much for one person. You wanna come in and eat 'em with me?"

Derek smiled. "Actually, I... I can't."

Stiles' smile vanished. "Oh."

"Cora wants to check out a college near LA right away, and I'm the one who's driving her. We're leaving right now, as a matter of fact." He turned around to face the Camaro in the street.

Stiles craned his neck and blushed when he saw Cora in the passenger seat, the window down and phone out. "We can hold it off for maybe two hours, if you need it!" she shouted from the car. "Laura owes me fifty bucks!"

A high-pitched sound that was something between a giggle and a shriek escaped Stiles' mouth. "Oh, God, I am so sorry."

"Don't be," Derek said. "We'll be gone for about a week. How about I take you to dinner when I get back?" His smile was blinding, and his arms had moved to that he was running his thumb on the back of Stiles' hand.

His smile returned. "Dinner sounds great." He kissed Derek again, less feverish but nonetheless endearing and situated the bakery box in his hand by closing the lid. "Thanks for the strawberries, Der."

Derek smiled back. "Anytime."

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on FF.net


End file.
